For the time being, environmentalists and all the people who are going green are inconceivably mistaken when it comes to this “global warming” issue. Why should we change the way things are now? Pumping millions of tons of CO2 into the atmosphere isn’t doing us any harm, but on the contrary, it is enriching our lives. Those who purport that our lives are wasteful and damaging to the earth are simply misled and naive. I can see many clear reasons why we should keep things they way that they are today.
Environmentalists say that our emissions are causing the polar ice caps to melt. Actually, this is terrific for two reasons: firstly, Michigan used to be covered by ice caps, and look where it is now: there are the Great Lakes, which everyone knows are nice. Secondly, who wouldn't want more ocean? Personally, I like the sand and sun, and I think the world would be a much better place with more of it. Can these people actually claim to dislike the sunshiny beach? I wouldn't follow the advice of people who are cold enough to loathe a good summer vacation on the seaside. We should listen to those who are informed, and who know a good thing when they see it.
About the whole "global warming" thing, again I ask: who wouldn't want a little warmer weather? I'm sure Michigan wouldn't mind. These people are honestly trying to get me to go through the odious effort of buying a new car, and changing the way that I live so the weather won't get a little warmer? Please. Everyone loves warmer weather, and so the tree-huggers are sorely mistaken in their premise that "global warming" is bad.
These green people also claim that we are fueling foreign petrodictators. As if our Middle Eastern friends call themselves that anyway. Our Saudi allies shouldn't be stereotyped so! Everyone knows that those countries work hard at providing for the poor and destitute. Just think: we would not have the burgeoning metropolis of Dubai without oil dollars! Besides, everyone knows that the money actually goes to the Pakistani attendant behind the counter, and the last time I checked, Pakistan had no dictator. Unfortunate, misled tree-huggers.
Environmentalists claim that our “addiction to oil” is creating a rampant problem: biodiversity loss. They claim that we are cutting down too many trees, and killing off weird, useless, exotic species. On the contrary, the only addiction I see is to trees and small woodland creatures, not our staple form of fuel, petrol, which powers our lives! That claim is as absurd as someone saying, "Americans are addicted to food"! Clearly something that fuels our lives cannot be an addiction. We Americans pride ourselves in our rampant consumption. It is the American way. We should not change this great nation of ours, at the risk of our national pride.
As to claims of our running out of fossil fuels, that is simply absurd. I personally know that there are at least hundreds, if not thousands of fossils at my local museum, and millions of museums in the world. This seemingly useless stockpile could be used so fuel our consumptive lives. I am personally willing to sacrifice those museums' fossils to alleviate this problem. I know that that supply could not possibly run out soon. They also claim that fossil fuels are not "clean". Did you know that the beautiful sunsets we view are a result of our emissions? If we stopped burning coal and oil (which is necessary to fuel our normal lives), then nature's dawn and dusk would be a smoggy, colorless movement of a slogging sun, not the vibrant orange and pink we get to witness every day! I choose beautiful sunrises and sunsets, not a frivolous, time-consuming change of energy methods which would eradicate them. Environmentalists are too focused on irrelevant issues.
All in all, when environmentalists talk of changing the way energy utilities attain and supply our energy, increasing "energy efficiency", and changing our very lives for this cause, I want to throw up. They want to take away our livelihoods, make us buy new-fangled light bulbs and cars, and make the world a cold, unpleasant, wasteful place. They want us to change our daily habits. We have just attained the comfort level that electricity and transportation provide, and they would take it away from us. Far be it from me that I would change a few things so that the world would be a freezing, desolate place. I will do my personal best to keep this climate problem a politicized issue, and to drive my comfy GMC as much as possible to keep this perpetual cold-front at bay. Long live the world as we know it, the beautiful world we have created through the sweat of our brows and the labor of our hands. We can never change, or else we will be finished for good. We must preserve our today so that our children can enjoy their tomorrow.
Environmentalists say that our emissions are causing the polar ice caps to melt. Actually, this is terrific for two reasons: firstly, Michigan used to be covered by ice caps, and look where it is now: there are the Great Lakes, which everyone knows are nice. Secondly, who wouldn't want more ocean? Personally, I like the sand and sun, and I think the world would be a much better place with more of it. Can these people actually claim to dislike the sunshiny beach? I wouldn't follow the advice of people who are cold enough to loathe a good summer vacation on the seaside. We should listen to those who are informed, and who know a good thing when they see it.
About the whole "global warming" thing, again I ask: who wouldn't want a little warmer weather? I'm sure Michigan wouldn't mind. These people are honestly trying to get me to go through the odious effort of buying a new car, and changing the way that I live so the weather won't get a little warmer? Please. Everyone loves warmer weather, and so the tree-huggers are sorely mistaken in their premise that "global warming" is bad.
These green people also claim that we are fueling foreign petrodictators. As if our Middle Eastern friends call themselves that anyway. Our Saudi allies shouldn't be stereotyped so! Everyone knows that those countries work hard at providing for the poor and destitute. Just think: we would not have the burgeoning metropolis of Dubai without oil dollars! Besides, everyone knows that the money actually goes to the Pakistani attendant behind the counter, and the last time I checked, Pakistan had no dictator. Unfortunate, misled tree-huggers.
Environmentalists claim that our “addiction to oil” is creating a rampant problem: biodiversity loss. They claim that we are cutting down too many trees, and killing off weird, useless, exotic species. On the contrary, the only addiction I see is to trees and small woodland creatures, not our staple form of fuel, petrol, which powers our lives! That claim is as absurd as someone saying, "Americans are addicted to food"! Clearly something that fuels our lives cannot be an addiction. We Americans pride ourselves in our rampant consumption. It is the American way. We should not change this great nation of ours, at the risk of our national pride.
As to claims of our running out of fossil fuels, that is simply absurd. I personally know that there are at least hundreds, if not thousands of fossils at my local museum, and millions of museums in the world. This seemingly useless stockpile could be used so fuel our consumptive lives. I am personally willing to sacrifice those museums' fossils to alleviate this problem. I know that that supply could not possibly run out soon. They also claim that fossil fuels are not "clean". Did you know that the beautiful sunsets we view are a result of our emissions? If we stopped burning coal and oil (which is necessary to fuel our normal lives), then nature's dawn and dusk would be a smoggy, colorless movement of a slogging sun, not the vibrant orange and pink we get to witness every day! I choose beautiful sunrises and sunsets, not a frivolous, time-consuming change of energy methods which would eradicate them. Environmentalists are too focused on irrelevant issues.
All in all, when environmentalists talk of changing the way energy utilities attain and supply our energy, increasing "energy efficiency", and changing our very lives for this cause, I want to throw up. They want to take away our livelihoods, make us buy new-fangled light bulbs and cars, and make the world a cold, unpleasant, wasteful place. They want us to change our daily habits. We have just attained the comfort level that electricity and transportation provide, and they would take it away from us. Far be it from me that I would change a few things so that the world would be a freezing, desolate place. I will do my personal best to keep this climate problem a politicized issue, and to drive my comfy GMC as much as possible to keep this perpetual cold-front at bay. Long live the world as we know it, the beautiful world we have created through the sweat of our brows and the labor of our hands. We can never change, or else we will be finished for good. We must preserve our today so that our children can enjoy their tomorrow.
